 I love life. I say this not because I live a life of notable joy or enjoy significant talent, but for the seemingly limitless delight I experience upon hearing other people say stupid things. While I do garner some happiness from the stupidity of the common folk, my life feels most complete when the source of the dumbosity (and don't you dare come at me with your "that isn't a word" talk) is a celebrity or public figure of any sort. When it comes to baseball players that I can count on for amusement every time their names appear next to quotation marks, Gary Sheffield holds a special place in my heart (right between Barry Bonds and Pedro Martinez). Sheff's absurd reactions to things that would generally illicit a calm or even positive response from someone with normal brain function are the driving force behind his reputation as a volatile teammate and the main reason I love him. Yesterday the Yankees let Sheff know that they have decided to pick up the $13 million option on his contract for the 2007 season, a move Sheff had been pushing for since the end of the 2005 season. Apparently, after being forced to play first base (poorly) in the ALDS, Sheff has changed his tune, telling USA Today that he didn't want the Yankees to pick up the contract after all - no, he suddenly preferred to become a free agent in hopes of picking up a 3-year contract: "This will not work, this will not work at all. I don't want to play first base a year for them. I will not do that. I don't know what they're (Yankees) going to do. Maybe they picked it up just to trade me. If they do that, if I just (go) to a team for one year, there's going to be a problem." Yes, how dare they pick up an option on a contract you signed? Too bad you didn't include a no-trade clause in there.
I love life. Labels: haha...ha., signings, steroids |
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Hilarious, excellent, thank you.